Archive | February, 2013

I Went To the Dentist Today/ I Might Have To Be a Juror

26 Feb

I went to the dentist today. I had to get a couple of fillings in.

I’m this really special kind of person, because it takes twice the normal amount of novocaine to get me numb enough to drill. The last time I went to the dentist, he gave me this little pussy dose because he had to do a filling on each side and he didn’t want to make my whole mouth numb in case I swallowed my own tongue or choked on my saliva or something. He gave me the shot and had me sit for 15 minutes. That was just enough time for my tongue to tingle a little, and then regain all feeling. I think I ended up needing three more shots, and they could only do the fillings on one side.

I don’t know why it never occurred to me to tell them I needed more anesthetic until today. I guess I assumed they’d write it on my chart. They don’t keep record of that, though, so when he grabbed the syringe I piped up, and I got two shots instead of one. For the first time since I started getting cavities I got through the entire filling without needing more novocaine. It was awesome.

Listen to this crap. Not only did I have to go to the dentist to get two fillings today, but I’m on call for jury duty this week. I’ve had to check the courthouse website periodically through the day to see if they need me to come down, and one of my check-in times was during my appointment. I had to sit in that stupid chair waiting for the anesthetic to set in and see if I was going to have to call today’s clients and tell them they had to find someone else to take care of their kids tonight. That would have been bad news.

I was lucky though. Besides my fillings going by really fast, I managed not to be in any of the groups they yanked down to the courthouse. Fingers crossed that my luck continues. I’ve never had to serve on a jury, and I certainly don’t want to start now. Maybe if I had some savings it would be a different story. 

Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever had to serve on a jury. In my impetuous youth, I tossed my jury summonses right into the recycling bin (because I’m environmentally conscious), without even opening them. I really played fast and loose with my civic duty back then. I almost threw out this one, too, but I don’t want a fine or whatever they do to scare people into showing up. I’m a more mature Kar Kar.

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Tamagotchi

25 Feb

First, though, I have to say that writing a literary analysis paper is the reason I put off taking English 1B for so many years. I suck at literary analysis, because I can’t write an outline to save my sad little life.

On a brighter note, I was so happy to discover the Tamagotchi L.i.f.e. app in the Google Play Store the other day. It was a complete fluke that I discovered it, because I was just looking for free apps to entertain the kids I babysit when I need a mental break, and there it was. Free. But it’s a new app, and I stumbled on it just in time to have it before it gets cool. Finally, I’ll be one of the kids with a tamagotchi, while it’s still hot! I only had the knock-offs when I was young, and only once tamagotchi had started on it its way out (at my school, at least).

So, I finally hatched my first tamagotchi, on Wednesday of last week.

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Here it is, sleeping. Which is kind of fitting, because it died today.

It was sickly, and needy, and poorly behaved. I let it eat too much candy, and I think that’s where I went wrong. It was only six years old, which is depressing. I hatched a new one, which I will not be feeding any snacks to. We’ll see how that goes.

My tamagotchi was so ugly, with its little stick legs and no arms, and its big old duck lips. It was always pelvic thrusting its way across the screen, smugly, waggling its butt at me as if to say, “Why, yes. I did poop an hour ago. Why, yes, I did just poop again. I’ll never stop pooping. Clean it up, so I can poop again.”

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“LOOK AT MY POOP!”

Sometimes, it would call to me, just so it could refuse to eat its loaf of bread. Then I’d have to discipline it. It would harumph, and spew clouds of crankiness. Then it would behave for a little bit, but before too long it would be screaming out for me again, just so I could watch it thrust its way across the screen. Here’s a picture of how it looked when it got pissed off. I thought it was hilarious, and if I knew how to make a .gif of it, I would.

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That is the best I can do for you.

It got sick every day. I had to give it two or three shots before it would get better, and it would get all happy, and I’d think, “Finally, I can have some peace.” But no. Before long it would be calling out to me once more, for no reason other than sheer selfishness. But now its dead, so… I kind of miss it.

Man, talking about 90’s toys is a nice break from having to write a literary analysis. I think I’m burnt out on that for tonight, and I’m going to rush to finish it tomorrow evening after work. Procrastinators always win, right?

New Purpose For This Blog

24 Feb

Ah, me and my lofty ideas. I’m not doing nearly enough creative writing to keep this thing going, but I have plenty of other things I want to write about, so that’s what this is for. I’m going to write whatever the hell I feel like.

Anyways, that is all. I have to go attend a children’s carnival, and must now leave for it.