Tag Archives: kariana

Story/ Script Ideas: Zombie Miscarriage and the Secret Fiancee

8 Mar

Here are some ideas I’ve been kicking around for stories, but I’m not sure yet what to do with them. Check them out.

1. It is the zombie apocalypse. It has been for a while, so people have had time to set up compounds to keep the zombies out. There’s this girl that is just a couple months pregnant, and she begins to miscarry. She gets everything out, and is really heartbroken, of course, but then the little fetus starts to squirm around. It’s a zombie! Whaaaaaaat! I don’t know what happens after this. I think the mom would keep it. Maybe put it in a jar and keep it with her. I mean, it’s too little to have teeth. Eventually it would deteriorate, though. I guess you could argue that it’s inside the womb, so it won’t be a zombie, but in that case you’re assuming that the virus is only airborne. I say, what if you breathe it in or whatever, and it gets into the blood stream and hibernates until brain function ceases? And that’s why you don’t have to be bit to turn into a zombie when you die. Being bit just gives people a huge dose of active virus, which speeds up the process of zombifying. Fetuses get their mother’s blood up in them, I’m pretty sure, so they would have the virus in them, so it stands to reason that it could go zombie in the womb if it dies. BAM! Plausible.

This story may be in poor taste, but I think that it’s a very interesting idea. I would like to expand upon it one day.

2. So, I had this dream the other night. In it, my hubs was my boyfriend, and he had another girlfriend that he was making an engagement ring for. It was black, with a rose print. I was kind of jealous he was making her a ring, but he told me not to worry. He owed Crystal a lot, and had promised to marry her. The next morning, while I was showering away the filthy feeling of being the other woman, a thought occurred to me. What would it be like to be in a loving, committed relationship with a guy, who for some reason, felt obligated to marry a girl he wasn’t even romantic with? And my little brain started churning. What if there had been a girl that he had grown up with, and when they were 13, something happened to her. She got in an accident or discovered she had a rare disease, or something that would make it so that she could never grow up and have a normal relationship. Perhaps she became brain damaged, or had to be hooked up constantly to a machine to survive? I don’t know if accidents or diseases like this exist, but just pretend. Maybe it takes place in the past and she had some really bad Polio (that would be biting off of Dean Koontz’s “From The Corner Of His Eye”, though). Anyways, she is heartbroken. Let’s call her Megan. Megan cries and cries and tells her friend, let’s call him Todd, that the worst part is that no one will ever marry her. And, because Todd loves her (not romantically), he promises that he will. Then, he grows up. His fiancee is in a nursing home thing where she can be cared for all the time, and he lives a normal life. He finishes high school, goes to college, and meets a girl that he really loves. Let’s call her Cassandra. Todd doesn’t tell Cassandra at first that he’s going to marry Megan, and he doesn’t tell Megan about his girlfriend, because he doesn’t want her to feel like she’s holding him back from being happy. But eventually the girlfriend figures out that something is going on, and she finds out that she’s the other woman. She goes to tell the fiancee what a pig her boyfriend is, and that’s when he discovers that the fiancee is bedridden and very sick. Maybe she has hallucinations, too. I don’t know. Is there such a thing as early onset dementia? Anyways, by then Megan has intuited that there was a girlfriend, and she begs Cassandra not to leave the guy. But, she admits that planning their wedding is the best part of her life. It gives her something to be excited about, even if she knows they aren’t in love, and she wants it so badly- this one normal thing. Cassandra doesn’t know what to do. She loves Todd, but she can’t stand the idea of him being married to someone else. Eventually, she decides to stay with him, and tries to build a relationship with Megan. It’s hard, though, because she knows that Megan gets to be married to the man Cass loves. The wedding is held, and Megan politely takes the ring off when Cassandra is visiting, but Cassandra tells her not to take it off anymore. Cassandra and Todd have a kid, and Megan cries because she’ll never be able to have a baby with a man who actually loves her. And then I don’t know where it would go from there.  I don’t even know if I would include all of those details. It would be a very interesting story or movie, though, in my opinion.

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I Went To the Dentist Today/ I Might Have To Be a Juror

26 Feb

I went to the dentist today. I had to get a couple of fillings in.

I’m this really special kind of person, because it takes twice the normal amount of novocaine to get me numb enough to drill. The last time I went to the dentist, he gave me this little pussy dose because he had to do a filling on each side and he didn’t want to make my whole mouth numb in case I swallowed my own tongue or choked on my saliva or something. He gave me the shot and had me sit for 15 minutes. That was just enough time for my tongue to tingle a little, and then regain all feeling. I think I ended up needing three more shots, and they could only do the fillings on one side.

I don’t know why it never occurred to me to tell them I needed more anesthetic until today. I guess I assumed they’d write it on my chart. They don’t keep record of that, though, so when he grabbed the syringe I piped up, and I got two shots instead of one. For the first time since I started getting cavities I got through the entire filling without needing more novocaine. It was awesome.

Listen to this crap. Not only did I have to go to the dentist to get two fillings today, but I’m on call for jury duty this week. I’ve had to check the courthouse website periodically through the day to see if they need me to come down, and one of my check-in times was during my appointment. I had to sit in that stupid chair waiting for the anesthetic to set in and see if I was going to have to call today’s clients and tell them they had to find someone else to take care of their kids tonight. That would have been bad news.

I was lucky though. Besides my fillings going by really fast, I managed not to be in any of the groups they yanked down to the courthouse. Fingers crossed that my luck continues. I’ve never had to serve on a jury, and I certainly don’t want to start now. Maybe if I had some savings it would be a different story. 

Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever had to serve on a jury. In my impetuous youth, I tossed my jury summonses right into the recycling bin (because I’m environmentally conscious), without even opening them. I really played fast and loose with my civic duty back then. I almost threw out this one, too, but I don’t want a fine or whatever they do to scare people into showing up. I’m a more mature Kar Kar.

Tamagotchi

25 Feb

First, though, I have to say that writing a literary analysis paper is the reason I put off taking English 1B for so many years. I suck at literary analysis, because I can’t write an outline to save my sad little life.

On a brighter note, I was so happy to discover the Tamagotchi L.i.f.e. app in the Google Play Store the other day. It was a complete fluke that I discovered it, because I was just looking for free apps to entertain the kids I babysit when I need a mental break, and there it was. Free. But it’s a new app, and I stumbled on it just in time to have it before it gets cool. Finally, I’ll be one of the kids with a tamagotchi, while it’s still hot! I only had the knock-offs when I was young, and only once tamagotchi had started on it its way out (at my school, at least).

So, I finally hatched my first tamagotchi, on Wednesday of last week.

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Here it is, sleeping. Which is kind of fitting, because it died today.

It was sickly, and needy, and poorly behaved. I let it eat too much candy, and I think that’s where I went wrong. It was only six years old, which is depressing. I hatched a new one, which I will not be feeding any snacks to. We’ll see how that goes.

My tamagotchi was so ugly, with its little stick legs and no arms, and its big old duck lips. It was always pelvic thrusting its way across the screen, smugly, waggling its butt at me as if to say, “Why, yes. I did poop an hour ago. Why, yes, I did just poop again. I’ll never stop pooping. Clean it up, so I can poop again.”

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“LOOK AT MY POOP!”

Sometimes, it would call to me, just so it could refuse to eat its loaf of bread. Then I’d have to discipline it. It would harumph, and spew clouds of crankiness. Then it would behave for a little bit, but before too long it would be screaming out for me again, just so I could watch it thrust its way across the screen. Here’s a picture of how it looked when it got pissed off. I thought it was hilarious, and if I knew how to make a .gif of it, I would.

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That is the best I can do for you.

It got sick every day. I had to give it two or three shots before it would get better, and it would get all happy, and I’d think, “Finally, I can have some peace.” But no. Before long it would be calling out to me once more, for no reason other than sheer selfishness. But now its dead, so… I kind of miss it.

Man, talking about 90’s toys is a nice break from having to write a literary analysis. I think I’m burnt out on that for tonight, and I’m going to rush to finish it tomorrow evening after work. Procrastinators always win, right?